Between the Messy Bun and the Table

With my hair pulled back in a messy bun, because I didn’t quite time it right again, I was finishing up Easter dinner.

The kind with all the cozy table settings, the little details, the things my mom always did. And somewhere just after the last-minute Walmart run, this thought beat me to my usual spot in the driveway:

I miss the days of just showing up. Being poured in. Doted on.

You know—being on the receiving end of gatherings. Yes, and Amen. Walking in with a side dish or sometimes nothing at all. Stepping into the noise and laughter already happening. Doing life, making memories, and messing up kitchens other than my own.

Simply being part of the celebration, not carrying it.

And then it hit me.

Oh… I’m creating this now.

For my family.

The moments my mom created for me, the shaping that happened without me even realizing it.

In the cups set out for coloring eggs.
The fresh flowers on the table.
The bunny chocolates at each setting.

All the quiet work she carried that I didn’t fully see back then, but feel so deeply now.

Her children rise up and call her blessed… Proverbs 31:28

And for a moment, I felt it. Not regret, just a deeper kind of seeing. The kind that only comes with time. And maybe that’s how it’s meant to be.

Because it was in this moment that my oldest came downstairs and said,

“Mom, do you need help? I felt like I should check on you.”

Everything slowed.

It was exactly what my heart needed before I even knew how to ask.

God knew.

He saw the moment I was having.
The remembering.
The longing.

And in His kindness, He met me right there in the middle of it.

So there we were.

Baking. Waiting. Being together.

Not perfect, but present at another holiday meal.

Another table.

And the thing I thought I was missing…

was right there in front of me.

And maybe it’s not Easter dinner for you.

Maybe it’s something else.

Something you’re carrying that feels heavy… or unnoticed… or just part of the day.

But what if the thing you think you’re missing,

is already right there in front of you, too?